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Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Sweet little girl with her eyes shining bright
Innocence stolen away
She remembers that day, when she was a child
Like it was yesterday
Betrayed and hurt by one that she loved
Abuse in the cruelest of forms
She let go of her hope and gave it away
Surrendered to darkness' arms
How can she praise You through all that has been
How can she still wear a smile
Why is it that You have given her this
This torture so hellish and vile
Her trust has been broken, along with her heart
Her pain overflows to her tears
She cries out in the night for someone to hold
And chase away all of her fears
Those eyes that have seen such unspeakable things
And horrors too wrong to behold
Now look to Your face in all that she bears
And gives you her future to mold
Please God, I beg You, don't hurt her once more
Don't give her more burdens to bear
Just take her and heal her and restore her again
I pray that You'll dry every tear
If this is a test, could You please let her pass
She's been through enough as it is
I'll get down on my knees, I'll cry and I'll scream
I just ask You please... no more of this!
Take it away, take all of the scars
And everything she holds inside
Expose all her shadows with Your holy Light
Give Your arms as a place she can hide
She's tired and weary and loosing her strength
This world's clipped the wings of Your dove
Hold her and hush her, sing over Your child
And show her the meaning of love
so... yea... thanks Jamie I saw this in my room and I almost started crying.
Posted at 07:38 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Saturday, November 13, 2004
Francine Rivers: Atonement Child.
Dynah started to cry, deep wrenching sobs of releif. She heard the scrape of her mother's chair and then felt her mother's arms firm around her. Her mother cried with her, holding her and stroking her and saying over and over that it would be all right. Everything would be all right. She was home now. She was safe. They would take care of her.
The long days of travel caught up with her. The stress that had held her in a vise for so many daysdissolved in the warmth of her mother's embrace. She leaned into her, Hanging on grateful to have expunged her burdens, grateful her mother would now shoulder them
Wow this really hit me. This Paticular paragraph was taken from a part in the Book where this girl Dynah just confessed to her mother somethings that happened earlier while she was away at college. the girl Drives home and the day she arrives home her mom comes home from the store and with in an hour the young girl drops her burden on her mothers lap.
I thought Francine did an amazing Job at this one, But God as the "mother"....that one part.... I am home now, I am safe, God will take care of her. yea... wow. I don't know if Francine meant for this connection but when I read that this afternoon it hit me like that. and I needed that comfort.
Posted at 09:24 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
I still remember three feet tall
Standing next to you I felt so small
I would've walked a million miles
Just to see you look at me and smile
Would it have been so hard
To give me just a little space
Inside your heart
Cause all I ever wanted
And all I ever needed
Was
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
Staring at the sky I feel so small
Still you see me underneath it all
You tell me I have never been alone
And that you even named me as your own
You still wear the scars
From when you laid down everything
For my heart
And all that you are giving
Is all that I am needing
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
You're a father to the fatherless
A hero to the heroless
A savior for anyone who's wanting
Who's needing..
You're a father to the fatherless
A hero to the heroless
A savior for anyone who's wanting
Who's needing..
Just to hear you say
You are loved my son
To hear you speak my name
And say well done
Well done
this is seriously where my heart stands... I'm just gonna keep playing this song over and over and over again. I just Want Jesus to love me. :)
Posted at 06:03 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Saturday, October 02, 2004
*hic* I have the Hic ups Ive had them all day it's *hic* annoying.
Elisabeth was gonna take me to the Calvacade of Bands for a small *hic* group thing but it didn't work *hic* out. sad day. *hic*
I'm sick of these Hic ups *hic* they are sooo *hic* dumb!
Posted at 06:31 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Monday, September 27, 2004
dumb thing I was bored so I filled it out
i am not: happy with my teacher
i hurt: cuz my knee is sore
i love: my Jesus, cuz He's AMAZING AND WONDERFUL
i hate: satan
i fear: God.
i hope: that I can
i hear: music ...I love music.
i crave: sleep
i regret: a few unneeded words
i cry: when I have to
i care: for people
i always: annoy michael.
i long to: be held in the arms of one I care for and who cares for me... also, I long to rest in the
arms of the One Who I care for and Who cares for me. heh...Niki's Statement works. I also Long to be Home
i drive: My big sisters Crazy
i sing: all of the time.
i dance: like a souther hick.
i search: the eyes.
i learn: More and more of my stupidty
i feel: disconnected. from my self.
i know: nothing. absoluetly nothing
i say: "Sad day" and "Amazingly Awesome"
i fail: every freaking day.
i dream: of life and love and hope. I dream.
i wonder: a lot of things
i want: love
i worry: a lot.
i have: the ablilty to give you everythhing.
i give: Everything i can
i need: nothing. but God. and a Deeper relationship with him
i fight: For God, as a Chosen WArrior
i am: Nothing HE is the "I Am"
i think: I'm tired
Opinions
Valentine's Day: the rightful name is Singles' Awareness Day (S.A.D.)
Abortion: Is Murder.
Inter-racial relationships: Go for it. It's not my deal. I'm not racist. and I have HUGE issues
with people that are
Murder: not worse then Anything I've done.
Death: or Life. Depending how you lived. and how you died
Pre-marital sex: again, not worse than anything I've done. but like Niki said. there are a lot of
earthly Consequences that come with it.
Terrorism: Bites.
Politics: I'm not with a party. I support whom is fighting for my Morals.
Cloning: people? yea...will those people have a soul? I don't think So. why do people try to play God?
Have you ever...
Mooned anyone? yea, no.
Broken a bone? my wrist
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling? yup
Swore at a teacher? YES
Got in a fight? yup. I'm Tough *Flexis* or...not...
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? uh...no.
Gone skinny dipping? yea. no.
Told a little white lie? of course. Bad Jess.
Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid? Yup.
Been on TV? Yup.
Been on the radio? Yup With DOUG!
Been to a rodeo? Yup.
Been on a talk show? nope
Been on a game show? nope
Been on an airplane? and I got to turkey....how?
Got to ride on a firetruck? yup when I was a little Kid they had the "fire saftey Mobile" come to
my school and we got to ride in the fire truck around the block :D
Came close to dying? uh....hmm....if you want to consider it that
Cheated on a bf/gf? not answering this. lol
Gave someone a piggy back ride? Just ask the little kids I think I have "human Jungle Gym"
written accross my Face
Terrorized a babysitter? duh.
Made a mud pie? what Kid hasn't?
Snuck out of the house at night? No answering this one.
Been so drunk you don't remember your name? yea. no.
Had an eating disorder? nope, struggled with ont for a while
Felt like you didn't belong? try nearly everyday of my Life
Smoked? nope
Done drugs? I plea the Fifth! AHH! *whispers:what's the fifth mean anyways?*
Been arrested? no
Had your tonsils removed? no
Gone to camp? CAMP WOOTEN DUDE! IT ROCKS.
Won a bet? of course!
Slow danced with someone you love? :D
Asked a friend for relationship advice? yup.
Had a friend steal your bf/gf? yea, no.
Gotten a speeding ticket? .nope.
Had to wear a uniform to work? nope
Won a trophy? Four time Bible Quiz Champ sitting right here!
Bowled a perfect game? I think my highest score is...4. :p Just kidding lol
Failed/got held back? no.
Got perfect attendance in grade school? yup. I'm a nerd
Roasted pumpkin seeds? Yup.... in Kindergarten
Taken ballet lessons? no. never.
Attempted suicide? heh
Cut yourself? heh
Childhood
Did you play with Barbies? I ripped off their heads.
Did you own Treasure Trolls? no
Did you watch Beverly Hills? No.
Did you watch Fraggle Rock? no
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed? no/
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them? no.
Were you shy? very
Were you spoiled? not really
Did you go to the circus? once
Did you go to the zoo? yup
Were you in a car accident? yea
Did you build snowmen? no
Did you cry when you scraped your knee? Duh
Did you think slinkies were cool? dude yea!
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer? no.
Were you afraid of the dark? yup
Did you believe in the Easter for a while/
Lasts...
Last big car ride: uh...to Oregon.
Last library book checked out: uh...I dunno
Last movie seen: uh...I dunno, acctually
Last beverage drank: Mt. Dew, and a glass of milk
Last food consumed: Tuna Sandwhich
Last crush: *turns red*
Last phone call: uh...Ashey
Last time showered: uh... last night
Last shoes worn: Tennies
Last cd played: Casting Crowns
Last annoyance: Music Class
Last disappointment: Cell groups. I wanted to go
Last time wanting to die: about a year and a month or two ago.
Last time scolded: Last night.
Last shirt worn: My Truman Sweatshirt. :D
Last website visited: Dumb create a Crossword website.
Posted at 08:18 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Tuesday, September 21, 2004
22Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, 24but the boat was already a considerable distance[1] from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
29"Come," he said.
30Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."
Hmm... maybe this is where I am at or whatever reason. I would like to go off on this thought. Peter-- Peter is always counted as the Faithless. he fell in the water. he denied Christ. But I find peter as a passionate person. hmm...maybe that's just me. When peter was in the boat he cried out to Jesus "Lord if it IS YOU call me out" shouldn't that be our prayer? "god if this is you in my life, use me"? In the book "if you want to walk on water you’ve gotta get out of the boat" it talks about how there are eleven people sitting in the boat. Doing nothing and PETER is the one that gets out. I guess what I want this Blog about is when peter called out. Peter, Passionate peter.... Always ready to fight for Jesus' Defense. he started to fall. and he Cried out "LORD save me". Lord Save me. Peter saw the winds and be came afraid and cried out "Lord save me" heh. I see the wind everyday. I look into my Dad's eyes. I listen to the things going on in my friends lives or I see a picture of my brother on the wall or I get in a fight with one of my friends and they hurt me, bad...I see the wind and I get scared. Really scared. I hurt I cry I become uncertain of who I am or where I'm going...I see the wind and I get scared. I want to learn to be like Peter I want to learn to cry out "Lord, save me"
Posted at 07:22 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Thursday, September 16, 2004
the power of a praying people
What if the armies of the Lord
Picked up and dusted off their swords
Vowed to set the captives free
And not let satan have one more
What if the church, for heaven's sake
Finally stepped up to the plate
Took a stand upon God's promise
And stormed hell's rusty gates
Chorus:
What if His people prayed
And all who bare His name
Would humbly seek His face
And Turn from their own way
And what would happen if we prayed
For those raised up to lead the way
Then maybe kids in school could pray
And unborn children see light of day
What if the life that we pursue
Came from a hunger for the truth
What if the family turned to Jesus
Stopped asking Oprah what to do
He said that they would hear
His promise has been made
He'll answer loud and clear
If only we would pray
If My people called by My name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
If My people called by My name
If they'll humble themselves and pray
Going to A chrstian School I'm constantly Sorruonded by God. and THe realization of the power of a praying people, and when that lacking of a power comes in. I constantly have heard..."We need a spirtual revival" and "why isn't God working?!" I guess, 'I've come to the point where I'm at a Question with my self. why is it so hard to pray for an hour and a half?! I mean, this is GOD OF THE UNIVERSE! and I can't talk to him for more than an hour? what's wrong with me? I just don't understand myself.
THE POWER OF A PRAYING PEOPLE. It's so amazing the difference between something that is FOUNDED something that Is BASED on prayer. and something that Prayer was an after thought and another thing that Prayer isn't metioned or done. Guess which one God shows up at. it's amazing How God moves when people pray. Ask and you will recieve. PRAYING, yea that's asking. so translation into Jessi's mind: Don't complain that God isn't doing anything in your life when you don't pray. and I mean intense prayer...not "oh God holy art thou..." and a billion other words I can't say and would butcher if I attempted to spell.
I think I'll go on what I THINK prayer is and what it's not. like I said before prayer isn't a bunch of rehearsed lines! that ticks me off so much. THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE isn't gonna care if you pray with the right phrases or not. he just wants that intamate relationship with you. he doesn't care if you use big ole' words like....never mind...lol. can't spell. but I'm not even joking. do you know how to you tell if you have an intamate relationship with God?! If you can use bad grammar with Him! Lol!
WHy is America so scared to pray?! I just don't get it. GOD IS SO AMAZING! and half of the CHRISTIANS of america don't realize that! because why?! they don't pray! HELLO! sorry...I'm sick sooo freakin sick...of lame-o prayer that is just done for the "I'm holier than you" thing. when it DOESN'T EVEN MATTER AT ALL! because God doesn't care. God wants your heart and that's all. *shuts up before I really go off*
Posted at 06:00 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Thursday, September 09, 2004
1. What time do you get up? Around 6:00
2. Gold or silver? Silver
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Princess Diares two
4. What is your favorite TV show? Uh…boy meets world
5. What do you have for breakfast? whatever
6. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with? John Kerry…
7. Who/what inspires you? Depends on what you mean as in inspiring
8. What is your middle name? Nicole
9. Beach, City or Country? country
10. Favorite ice-cream? Homemade…*anykind*
11. Butter, plain or salted popcorn? Butter and salted
13. What kind of car do you drive? Heh, I wish
14. What characteristics do you despise? “I’m always right” characteristic
15. Favorite Flower? Black Rose
16. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Turkey, duh
17. What color is your bathroom(s)? Blueish sandish color….Beach theme
18. Favorite brand of clothing? Uh…walmart?
19 What did you do for your last birthday? Did dishes at a camp and Almost got hit by lightning
20. Where were you born? Fort worth texas, yea, I rock
21. Favorite sport? Swimming and soccor
22. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? This is a Blog post so who won’t comment? No one. I never get comments
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Read Question above
24. Coke or Pepsi? COKE!!!! It’s against my religion to drink pepsi ;)
25. Are you a morning person or a night owl? NIGHT OWL and Morning Person 26. What is your shoe size? 71/2 or 8 sometimes 81/2
Posted at 05:46 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Thursday, September 02, 2004
soooooo I suck at making good updates
Bite me!
Posted at 07:35 pm by ChosenWarrior
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Sunday, August 29, 2004
Now Playing: 100 Portraits and Waterdeep - Put in Me
Oh, Mercy, fall on me like a warm blanket...on my cold, cold heart
Clean me with Your blood that turns me white on the inside
I'm on my knees again 'cause I'm breaking Your heart
Everything I'm saying to god... "mercy, fall on me like a warm blanket on my cold cold heart" what a reflection of everything my heart is. Change my heart with your mercy, Lord. "clean me with your blood" I foud this ironic. what is the most ANNOYING stain to get out? Blood! I would know... I end up doing the stained laundry at my house. "I'm on me knees again ' cause I'm breaking your heart"
Put in me...what I cannot buy with gold
Put in me, oh God...come restore my broken soul
Put in me...what I cannot give myself
Put in me...a clean heart
"put in me...what I cannot buy with Gold" God, strip away materielism from me. "put in me, oh God...come restore my broken soul" Lord, heal me... I can't fight anymore. "put in me...what I cannot give my self" Give me what I can't do my self, peace and hope. "put in me...a clean heart" above all that's what I want Lord a clean heart
I know all my broken places like the back of my hand
That slapped your face again
Wash me in your love and hold me tight like a baby
Till I have no memory of ever breaking Your heart
"I know all my broken places like the back of my hand" heh, how well do I know where I'm broken. cuz it's always being repeated. you like to beat me on the head with the same message because I'm stubborn and I don't learn it the first time. "That slapped your face again" yea...heh... that was me. "wash me in your love and hold me tight, like a baby" wash me in your love. consume me with your love. I love that. and just hold me. Love on me. "till I have n memory of ever breaking your heart" how I long for that to forget every last time I hurt you
Put in me...what I cannot buy with gold
Put in me, oh God...come restore my broken soul
Put in me...what I cannot give myself
Put in me...a clean heart
And in the joy when you restore me I will stand and walk again
I will run into this world I will call them to come in
But I will not point my finger or grow that wicked skin
That cannot remember what I will not forget
How I broke you, or how I'm broken
"in the joy when you store me I will stand and walk again" I will stand in your joy. and again walk, and again fight. "I will runinto this world I will call them to come in" I'll keep fighting this batte...I'll change the world, again, through the joy of you restoring me. "but I will no point my finger or grow that wicked sin" I'll stop blaming others. but I won't dwell on the sin "that cannot remember what I will not forget" thte sin doesn't know what I know about you, Lord. "how I broke you, or how I'm broken" about that lord. the sin doesn't know that. but I do and I will not forget.
Put in me...what I cannot buy with gold
Put in me, oh God...come restore my broken soul
Put in me...what I cannot give myself
Put in me...a clean heart
Posted at 06:40 pm by ChosenWarrior
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